I'm teaching Sri Lankan criminals how to kidnap. You can do nothing about it! Suckers!
They did it again! This time University of Peradeniya students kidnapped group of university works, including lectures and Deputy Vice Chancellor. Their demands? Drop all criminal charges against them and let them go back to university. (and escape helicopter, free Mahapola money, government jobs, and change the university’s name to their grandmothers name).
Malaka Silva’s mother phone up Malaka this morning and said, "Dummy! If you go to a Sri Lankan university and get a proper education, you won’t go to jail like a stupid. Even don’t know how to kidnap someone and get your chargers dropped! Idiot!”. And Mervin Silva, more a loving man, told his son Malaka, ‘look son, I got a Phd, learn from me!”
Al Qaeda, Saudi, this morning came forward with highly paid job offers for Sri Lankan University graduates. Minister of foreign affairs said, he already start discussion with Taliban and now we can send housemaids and graduates to Middle East.
Meanwhile NASA started an internal investigation to find out if any Sri Lankan scientists influenced Lisa Nowak’s kidnapping incident.
University of Peradeniya said they are planning to bring down O.J Simpson as a guest lecture for next semester.
With all these wonderful news, I feel proud today. I work hard, pay my taxes and fund our universities, so they can teach ‘101 ways to kill a fellow student using a computer’, ‘101 ways to kidnap’, ‘Mahapola for Dummies’ and so many unique subjects you cannot find anywhere else in the world. Aren’t our free higher education system is the best in the world or what?
Other rural universities also wanted to include those subjects in their curriculums and Education minister said, "we have to increase petrol price up to 200Rs a liter next year, so we can provide sufficient funding for our wonderful higher education system".
Malaka Silva’s mother phone up Malaka this morning and said, "Dummy! If you go to a Sri Lankan university and get a proper education, you won’t go to jail like a stupid. Even don’t know how to kidnap someone and get your chargers dropped! Idiot!”. And Mervin Silva, more a loving man, told his son Malaka, ‘look son, I got a Phd, learn from me!”
Al Qaeda, Saudi, this morning came forward with highly paid job offers for Sri Lankan University graduates. Minister of foreign affairs said, he already start discussion with Taliban and now we can send housemaids and graduates to Middle East.
Meanwhile NASA started an internal investigation to find out if any Sri Lankan scientists influenced Lisa Nowak’s kidnapping incident.
University of Peradeniya said they are planning to bring down O.J Simpson as a guest lecture for next semester.
With all these wonderful news, I feel proud today. I work hard, pay my taxes and fund our universities, so they can teach ‘101 ways to kill a fellow student using a computer’, ‘101 ways to kidnap’, ‘Mahapola for Dummies’ and so many unique subjects you cannot find anywhere else in the world. Aren’t our free higher education system is the best in the world or what?
Other rural universities also wanted to include those subjects in their curriculums and Education minister said, "we have to increase petrol price up to 200Rs a liter next year, so we can provide sufficient funding for our wonderful higher education system".
posted by Sam at
6:16 PM
4 Comments:
nice! except one matter Mervin does not have a PhD, he only has 3 or 4 honorary doctorates, he can say "Dr. Mervin Silva" but not "Mervin Silva Ph.D".
Sad. Literally.
By the way where did M.S get his honorary doctorates from?
He has one honorary doctorate. It's got to do something with alternative spinal therapy or something like that.
alternative spinal therapy :) haha. good one!
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