I'm teaching Sri Lankan criminals how to kidnap. You can do nothing about it! Suckers!

They did it again! This time University of Peradeniya students kidnapped group of university works, including lectures and Deputy Vice Chancellor. Their demands? Drop all criminal charges against them and let them go back to university. (and escape helicopter, free Mahapola money, government jobs, and change the university’s name to their grandmothers name).

Malaka Silva’s mother phone up Malaka this morning and said, "Dummy! If you go to a Sri Lankan university and get a proper education, you won’t go to jail like a stupid. Even don’t know how to kidnap someone and get your chargers dropped! Idiot!”. And Mervin Silva, more a loving man, told his son Malaka, ‘look son, I got a Phd, learn from me!”

Al Qaeda, Saudi, this morning came forward with highly paid job offers for Sri Lankan University graduates. Minister of foreign affairs said, he already start discussion with Taliban and now we can send housemaids and graduates to Middle East.

Meanwhile NASA started an internal investigation to find out if any Sri Lankan scientists influenced Lisa Nowak’s kidnapping incident.

University of Peradeniya said they are planning to bring down O.J Simpson as a guest lecture for next semester.

With all these wonderful news, I feel proud today. I work hard, pay my taxes and fund our universities, so they can teach ‘101 ways to kill a fellow student using a computer’, ‘101 ways to kidnap’, ‘Mahapola for Dummies’ and so many unique subjects you cannot find anywhere else in the world. Aren’t our free higher education system is the best in the world or what?

Other rural universities also wanted to include those subjects in their curriculums and Education minister said, "we have to increase petrol price up to 200Rs a liter next year, so we can provide sufficient funding for our wonderful higher education system".

Sri Lankan Universities, Assholes and Waste of My Money.

I asked myself the question few times, “is it worth we spending our tax money on Free Higher Education?”. Over the years my answer turned in to “No. Not the way we are doing it right now”. Right now, I’m pretty much tired of looking at those assholes milking the government cow (that is us), and we are not getting any return out of it at the end of the day.

I do understand the value of free education. I myself and my parents, even our president, all are products of free education. Government investment on Free Higher Education was necessary at the time when we were new to that system. Back then government even invest on toilets, so we can get out of the habit of going on nature walks. But once toilets become standards, government stop investing on it, and now we build our own toilets with our own money. Don’t we all understand the value of higher education by now and aren’t we willing to spend our own money for it personally?

Don’t misunderstand me. I’m all for FREE Education. Education is a human right and everyone should have freedom to accrue it, no matter what. No matter you are poor, rich, smart or a retarded. But unfortunately we don’t have a FREE higher education in Sri Lanka. We have financially subsidized higher education, but in that process we take out the right for education form majority of citizens. Some fortunate people are able to leave the country, and accrue higher education elsewhere. (Fortunate people always able to leave this country.) But not so fortunate have to give up their rights to have formal higher education. If you were not able to score higher enough in A/L, government labels you, a dump mother fcker who is not worth of getting a higher education. I don’t like that. Education should be FREE. Even for rich people. Even for stupid people. Even for dumbass Einstein who acted retarded till his midlife.

We are a poor nation. If we invest on something, we need to gain some returns out of it. We as a nation spend our hard earn money on our universities (Mind you, our wives work in Middle East, doing all sort of dirty work for make that money). First of all our curriculums are duplicates of western universities. And eventually the students we train with our money, get jobs in Europe or some other smart nation than us, and move out there. Why the hell we train people with our money for other countries? Then Rest of the assholes that were not able to get a work permit in UK, US or Australia, start picketing front of Fort Railway Station. So the government (that is us) has to provide them some made up jobs and pay them monthly salary with our pocket till they live. Sri Lanka already has highest number of Government works in the world. Let’s stop producing more.

Now come to my most important question. What our free higher education system has done to our country LATELY, which we could not achieve by open higher education system? Did our universities invent anything? No! We had free higher education for so long, does our country become any better? No! Are we become any smarter? No! Does our university graduates become masters of the trade and create jobs for rest of the dumb mother fckers who dumb enough to fail A/L? No!

Then why We just keep on pumping our money in to higher education system and create some products either end up in some other country for free, or we end up maintaining afterword just because we are stupid enough to created them? Why?

"There is no greater crime than to stand between a man and his development; to take any law or institution and put it around him like a collar, and fasten it there, so that as he grows and enlarges, he presses against it till he suffocates and dies."

~ Henry Ward Beecher: