Dalai Lama, Buddhism and Homosexuality

"It's part of what we Buddhists call 'bad sexual conduct.' Sexual organs were created for reproduction between the male element and the female element and everything that deviates from that is not acceptable from a Buddhist point of view. Between a man an [another]man, a woman and another woman, in the mouth, the anus, or even using a hand." (the DL mimes masturbation)...
(June 1997, San Francisco ~ Dalai Lama)

Also mentioned this only applied to Buddhists. This didn't make any sense to me. It didn't sound Correct. I can question any Buddhist teaching no matter who said it⁽¹⁾ so I decide to exercise that right.

Sexual organs were created for reproduction

I can't agree. Human sexual organs are created for sex & pleaser more than reproduction. Humans anatomy & humans approach to sex very much deferent than other primates. Example: Human female is the only female does not display ovulating period, but sexually capable most of her life ~ even after her lose the reproduction capability. Human female is the only female primate capable of sexual orgasm. Not only that, some woman are may even reach orgasm as a result of stimulation of her breasts, ears and other body parts ^{(Kinsey Research) (more info: The Naked Woman, The Naked Ape)}

Non sexual relationship between same sex is very much welcome in almost every religion including Buddhism. But the issue starts when sex involved. Sex is always hot topic for everyone ~ even to religious leaders. 

In Buddhism any kind of sexual relationship or activity totally prohibit for monks - only for the monks. There is no question about it.

There are no rules for laypeople in Buddhism. There are guidelines, not rules. When Dalai Lama refer to 'bad sexual conduct' he refer to the third precept of 5 precepts of Buddhism. That is : 'not to engage in wrong way for sexual pleasure'. Buddha never mention anything about homosexuality for laypeople or any other none-traditional sexual orientations ~ he discuss about the sexuality as one entity. Even though Buddha explains about bad side of worldly pleasers, he did not deny any worldly pleasers to laypeople. Matter of fact he even explain how to enjoy worldly pleasers with mindfulness. Also reproduction is not compulsory in Buddhism. Not only that.. even marriage is not compulsory in Buddhism. (but culture naturally override those)

What is the wrong way for sexual pleaser really?
I remember the monk who teach Buddhism in the school had very difficult time trying to (not) explain that. I have kind of similar problem now when trying to explain that, because there are no clear definition about 'wrong way' in here. Is that cheating, rapeing, child molestation? Or is that none-traditional sexual activity? Is that engaging in sexual activity just for pleaser, not for reproduction? Is that sexual thoughts? Is that homosexuality? Or is that altogether? What is right and what is wrong?

I'm not really helpless here. Buddha explain three main guidelines to judge an action right or wrong. So I'm going to put this into those three tests and see how it will come out.

1. How do I feel if that action done toward me.
   It does not matter man or woman, if some one forcefully have sexual activity, then that is sexual violation I do not like - that is wrong.
   But in the other hand, if I happened to be homosexual & also if I had a relationship with other adult homosexual, then it will become a partnership both people get benefited form. I have seen couple of homosexual couples enjoying good life. They too have big problems like Petrol price or global-warming, and all other human problems.
   I can't separate heterosexuality and homosexuality using this test. They both look the same here.
   But I can filter adultery, rape, and all other sexual violation as the wrong way from this test.
    
2. The deed which causes remorse afterwards and results in weeping and tears is ill-done. The deed which causes no remorse afterwards and results in joy and happiness is well-done.
   Well. I have to agree with Bob Marley in here. No woman ~ No Cry.
   I have seen more heterosexual people cry for heterosexual relationship more than homosexual people. Looks like it do not matter type of the relationship, if I do something make me regret afterward, then it is wrong.
   I can't separate heterosexuality and homosexuality using this test. They both look the same here anyway.
    
3. Whether the action is helpful to goal of Nirvana
   In Buddhism, the final goal is to obtain the ultimate happiness - Nirvana. Work toward that, Buddhists have to do good deeds. If the action base on generosity, love and compassion then it is an action toward Nirvana. If a person maintain a clear mind, even he is heterosexual or homosexual he is working toward the nirvana. If a person maintain a quality relationship no matter who is the partner is, then that person working toward Nirvana.
   This test does not help me to separate heterosexuality from homosexuality. Bad relationship is bad relationship, no matter who the partner is. 

In that case I have to decide Dalai Lama's quote is not the Buddhist point of view as he clam. 

In Buddhism homosexual Buddhist and heterosexual Buddhist both are equal humans. None superior to other. Homosexual relationship and heterosexual relationship both are similar and both have similar consequences.

By the way This is not unconditional - just like everything else in the world. If one act openly gay where homosexuality is not tolerated, then results may be weeping and tears even it is right thing or wrong thing. Buddha have mention try not to involve in actions does not tolerated by the society or declared as illegal, even they are 'good' actions. So in that case Gay Pride parade is not a good idea in Sri Lanka.

Bottom line is, Just like Dalai Lama said 'He is just a monk - nothing more - nothing less'. But after all, he is most famous Buddhist in the world. In that case I like him help everyone to have a better relationship with love and generosity no matter who's the partner happened to be.

Sigiri Sri Lanka Restaurant - New York.

I was in the wrong place at wrong time. I happened to be in New York Last week. Tourists, Refugees, Homosexuals, Terrorists, Italians, Chinese or Heat-Waves – New York can’t escape from any thing coming through it’s boundaries. This time it was undeliverable heat-wave boil up New York up to 100 to 101 digress (around 38-39c) all around the clock – whole last week. I was inside an oven.

At the end of all that torture, I decide to treat myself with something nice. Looking for an idea, I came cross the web site of the Sigiri Restaurant. That is the only Sri Lankan restaurant operates in Manhattan as far as I know.

There was 10 minute walk from the Subway to the restaurant - may be less than that. But still remaining heat in the atmosphere make me feel like it was long walk. But I have no regrets; food was worth the walk.

Sigiri Sri Lanka Restaurant is a small restaurant – Nothing fancy - But very friendly, calm place – felt just like I’m in a friend’s house for lunch. Expect the well known Sri Lankan Hospitality.

I was accompanied by two New Yorkers – so I decided to surprise them with Hoppers & Ice Coffee first. It was 8.50$ for three plain Hoppers and one egg hopper. For my surprise, my company loved it more than I did. Hoppers are not as good as my grandmother’s hoppers – but I don’t expect to find grandmothers hoppers other side of the world. But it came with very tasty ‘Coconut Sambol’. When the Hopper joins Sambol, it was top of the class.

If you visit Sigiri Restaurant with New Yorkers – I suggest getting extra ice with the Ice Coffee - New Yorkers tend to use lot of ice in their drinks – also order 4 plain Hoppers instead of Egg Hopper.

Next we tried String Hoppers and Dhal Curry. I should not have ordered Dhal Curry since String Hoppers came with delightful ‘Kiri Hodi’ dish.

But String Hoppers were not able to surprise me or my company as much as Hoppers did. Two reasons – String Hoppers are not very Fork Friendly dish – also they were not top of the class as Hoppers. But my company really enjoyed eating it with Coconut Sambol white I enjoyed Kiri Hodi.
Next time I will order Kottu instead of String Hoppers.

For the Dessert we settled with Watalappam instead of Curd & Treacle. I hope Watalappam was decorated little bit more to make it look good as much as it’s taste – look can fools a first timer very easily – specially New Yorker. Watalapam here was better than some of them I have even tasted in Sri Lanka.

Food was so good – I decided to take-out a Lamprais. Again for my surprise it was one of the best Lamprais I have tasted.

I wish if there were more traditional Sri Lankan items around - like pleasant looking masks, paintings, or some Sri Lankan visuals – so I can explain about them to my company until food served - Just to spice up the true Sri Lankan experience.

I’m pretty sure any Sri Lankan stranded far away from home in Big Apple, will be able to find much needed comfort in Sigiri Restaurant.

New Yorkers – expect the surprising Sri Lankan taste ~ totally deferent form Indian or Chinese cuisine.
Expect the excellent Sri Lankan Hospitality ~ totally deferent from Indian or Chinese.