Top 10 (Worst) Reason to Marry
All my friends and girlfriends(?!) are getting married. Looking at them and their
marriages, I tried to figure out why we should really get married for. Do we
have to? Do we need a contract to secure our romance?
Then I realize marriage can add extra bond to shining romance. It is one of the best results of romance. So why not?
Again looking at my friend's marriages, fights, divorces and suicide attempts, I realized how unpleasant it can be if it goes wrong. Divorce is not the worst thing can happen to a marriage, mind you. It is live inside a broken marriage for rest of your life. I have not tasted the bitterns of it - but I have seen the faces of my friends who tasted it. That was not pretty.
Here are my top 10 worst reasons to get married (in Sri Lanka). This is not for Girls by the way. Because girls have total deferent set of reasons I don't want to address here (or any where else).
10. School Sweetheart.
Your friends tag alone with you in school uniform to see her after school. All your friends know her. All her girlfriends know you too. When you met your friends, they ask you about her first. 'yo. maan.. How is she doing?' 'When you going to get married?' common questions. They all treat you as you are already married.
Just because all your friends treat you as a married couple you don't have to marry her. Your marriage is more important than your social identity.
9. Horoscope Match
Horoscope reading is not a good reason to tie the knot. Think your marriage is a big giant ship (with lot of children screaming and breaking things in it) & think horoscope as the weather report. A ship can crash in good weather or bad weather. And no weather report can make perfect predication. Your 'sailing skills' are more impotent in this case.
8. Matchmaker. Matchmaker. Find me a match.
That can be a professional matchmaker, Sunday news paper 'brides available' section, a neighbor, a friend's wife, a relative or even a website. Without a doubt this is the easiest way to find a girl in SL. We have more 'bride and groom' advertisements on Sunday paper than 'Toyota for sale'. Matchmakers tend to exaggerate good stuff and hide the bad stuff. It is quite possible to find something you don't want to hear after it is too late.
It does not matter how you found her, you have to decide your future. Don't keep any space to blame on matchmaker afterward.
7. She about to finish higher education.
Soon she will be a professional and independent woman. You don't want to take any risk. Arrange the engagement in her next vacation home and plan to get married as soon as she finishes her graduate. Not a very bad idea, if your relationship is an investment. But marriage is not the stock market or method to secure your relationship.
6. She is pretty
She is the universally accepted girlfriend. Guys may kill each other for her. But it does not matter how 'right' she is for everyone else - she have to be right for you. Unfortunately beauty can not keep a marriage live. If she is pretty, take it only as a bonus - a good bonus.
5. Her parents want you to marry her
When they do, they want it fast. They may come up with reasons like 'She is getting older', 'She have younger sisters', 'she only have one parent' or 'we likes you a lot'.
Then they may ask you to meet her at her home, join the family trip, watch the house when they gone...
Reality is - you are the one getting married. It is your life. Marry the person you want to be with - not others want you to be with.
4. Your parents want you to marry her
She is the daughter your mother didn't had. Your mom even complains her about you. Your parents brag about future daughter-in-law with your relatives.
But unless you are Raymond, your marriage is not your parent's enterprise. Do what is best for you.
3. It is the correct time
Your friends are getting married. Older siblings are married. Younger siblings are waiting for your marriage. You higher education finish. You have a good job, a good car. What is next step? Marriage?
Life is not a logically categorized process. Marriage is not a part of a sequence.
If you thinks your relationship is in correct time - if it is solid and secure - then you are ready to go.
2. No Escape
She put up with you for long time. She rejected all the proposals - doctors, top executives and even a guy lives abroad came to SL for get married and go back before vacation ends. So you want pay her back by marriage for all the sacrifices.
You can not pay off by marriage if you are not honestly ready to take her as your soul mate. If she is your soul mate you don't have to pay off. (Those sacrifices she did ~ that is not only for you by the way.) You don't have to be sad because she lost all the good proposals. Girls never lose proposals. Her parents will find another one soon. Payback with your life is not a smart move.
1. Show me the Money!
We don't get chance to choose a rich father. But we get chance to choose a rich father-in-law. An opportunity of a lifetime!
But a wife can bring more happiness to a person's life than money can. Even though one should not ashamed of prospective wealth it is not a good idea to take decision base of on it (Ok.. Ok.. if you Jewish, you can). Look for what she can bring to your life, not what her father can.
Then I realize marriage can add extra bond to shining romance. It is one of the best results of romance. So why not?
Again looking at my friend's marriages, fights, divorces and suicide attempts, I realized how unpleasant it can be if it goes wrong. Divorce is not the worst thing can happen to a marriage, mind you. It is live inside a broken marriage for rest of your life. I have not tasted the bitterns of it - but I have seen the faces of my friends who tasted it. That was not pretty.
Here are my top 10 worst reasons to get married (in Sri Lanka). This is not for Girls by the way. Because girls have total deferent set of reasons I don't want to address here (or any where else).
10. School Sweetheart.
Your friends tag alone with you in school uniform to see her after school. All your friends know her. All her girlfriends know you too. When you met your friends, they ask you about her first. 'yo. maan.. How is she doing?' 'When you going to get married?' common questions. They all treat you as you are already married.
Just because all your friends treat you as a married couple you don't have to marry her. Your marriage is more important than your social identity.
9. Horoscope Match
Horoscope reading is not a good reason to tie the knot. Think your marriage is a big giant ship (with lot of children screaming and breaking things in it) & think horoscope as the weather report. A ship can crash in good weather or bad weather. And no weather report can make perfect predication. Your 'sailing skills' are more impotent in this case.
8. Matchmaker. Matchmaker. Find me a match.
That can be a professional matchmaker, Sunday news paper 'brides available' section, a neighbor, a friend's wife, a relative or even a website. Without a doubt this is the easiest way to find a girl in SL. We have more 'bride and groom' advertisements on Sunday paper than 'Toyota for sale'. Matchmakers tend to exaggerate good stuff and hide the bad stuff. It is quite possible to find something you don't want to hear after it is too late.
It does not matter how you found her, you have to decide your future. Don't keep any space to blame on matchmaker afterward.
7. She about to finish higher education.
Soon she will be a professional and independent woman. You don't want to take any risk. Arrange the engagement in her next vacation home and plan to get married as soon as she finishes her graduate. Not a very bad idea, if your relationship is an investment. But marriage is not the stock market or method to secure your relationship.
6. She is pretty
She is the universally accepted girlfriend. Guys may kill each other for her. But it does not matter how 'right' she is for everyone else - she have to be right for you. Unfortunately beauty can not keep a marriage live. If she is pretty, take it only as a bonus - a good bonus.
5. Her parents want you to marry her
When they do, they want it fast. They may come up with reasons like 'She is getting older', 'She have younger sisters', 'she only have one parent' or 'we likes you a lot'.
Then they may ask you to meet her at her home, join the family trip, watch the house when they gone...
Reality is - you are the one getting married. It is your life. Marry the person you want to be with - not others want you to be with.
4. Your parents want you to marry her
She is the daughter your mother didn't had. Your mom even complains her about you. Your parents brag about future daughter-in-law with your relatives.
But unless you are Raymond, your marriage is not your parent's enterprise. Do what is best for you.
3. It is the correct time
Your friends are getting married. Older siblings are married. Younger siblings are waiting for your marriage. You higher education finish. You have a good job, a good car. What is next step? Marriage?
Life is not a logically categorized process. Marriage is not a part of a sequence.
If you thinks your relationship is in correct time - if it is solid and secure - then you are ready to go.
2. No Escape
She put up with you for long time. She rejected all the proposals - doctors, top executives and even a guy lives abroad came to SL for get married and go back before vacation ends. So you want pay her back by marriage for all the sacrifices.
You can not pay off by marriage if you are not honestly ready to take her as your soul mate. If she is your soul mate you don't have to pay off. (Those sacrifices she did ~ that is not only for you by the way.) You don't have to be sad because she lost all the good proposals. Girls never lose proposals. Her parents will find another one soon. Payback with your life is not a smart move.
1. Show me the Money!
We don't get chance to choose a rich father. But we get chance to choose a rich father-in-law. An opportunity of a lifetime!
But a wife can bring more happiness to a person's life than money can. Even though one should not ashamed of prospective wealth it is not a good idea to take decision base of on it (Ok.. Ok.. if you Jewish, you can). Look for what she can bring to your life, not what her father can.
If we are in the wrong marriage, we guys in Sri Lanka always can leave the
misery to the female - and live our life. But still, it is better not to marry
at all than marry the wrong person for wrong reasons and spend endless nights in
the bar getting drunk with mates.
Labels: My Life
posted by Sam at
9:18 AM
7 Comments:
Heh He! Funny post.
//Do we need a contract to secure our romance?\\
I asked the same question from my then, GF (now wife) few years ago, and I can't write down here, the answer I got. :-)
Anways, I really don't know why I got married, (a reason or top 10 reasons) but I know I've made the right choice. For the last 2 years, I'm (we are, rahter) really enjoying our marriage, and we don't feel like "reduced romance" or what so ever. Tell you, we got married after a 8 years affair, so there were no such secrets to be revealed in our lives after marriage. I believe most marriages collapse, because when you are living seperately what you see as your partner is not the "real person". Only when you start living together, you come to know the real person (secrets revealed) and the problems start!
Quite interesting. Most of your points may be true. But finally all depend on your LUCK. Although your reason to marry is one or more of above, you can still live a happy and perfect life if u have LUCK. On the otherhand, if u prevent all these reasons and got the "right one" you may be end up with a divorse. Who can predict the life? Only destiny can do......
another thing is how compatible you 2 are, and how both of you change. Coz even if you've have going out for 5 years, both of you change, if you change together all is cool. If not, then things start falling apart.
Cheers for that Chaar Max! Bloody true!
compatibility.. as chaar max put it.
Interestingly honest post. :)
I've been married quite long , so I'd say marriage brings with it a lot of compromise. So, how far you are willing to mould into each others groove, can help to an extent.Beyond that, I think like parents-kids, siblings and all other r'ships,you will go thru good aand sour times.So also does marital life. How bad it gets, how much you can take and how much this rship means to you determines how far you will go to keep it.Do I make sense???
didn't miss anything there ! lol :)
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